I think a lot of guys are given mixed messages. One person tells them to be strong and not to be weak and cry, and another person says ‘talk about your feelings’. It’s not easy for a teenager to know when it’s okay to do either. ‘If I do that, who’s going to like me, my parents might be happy but my mates might pay me out’. So it’s important to have a discussion where they can explore all of what it is to be a man today.
I think the trap is if you’re stuck with a stereotype that says no emotion, what happens when things go badly and you can’t express that in any way but how you’ve been told how guys solve problems? They sort it out with a fist, they don’t talk about it. They go down to the pub for a beer. We know where those things end up.
We need to change the dialogue to be ‘you can be tough but if things are going really badly and you can’t find a way out of it on your own, then have a conversation with your best mate and shed some tears and release the valve and get some help with it’. There’s nothing unmasculine about that. If you can do that then you’re the most courageous man in the room because, for 99% of guys, that terrifies them.
I was an island for the first sixteen, seventeen years of my life. I didn’t need anybody, I wasn’t vulnerable to anybody and I wasn’t in a relationship. I’ve had to learn how to be vulnerable. It’s not a weakness, it’s actually a gift, because if you are vulnerable to somebody, it means that they’ve got a ticket to you.”
For 24 hour crisis support, contact a local service available in your country.
If life is in danger, call or go directly to emergency services.
Australia
Emergency services: 000
24 hour crisis support:
Lifeline, 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service, 1300 659 467
Austria
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Telefon Seelsorge, 142
Belgium
Emergency services: 100
24 hour crisis support:
Tele-Accueil, 107
Canada
Emergency services: 911
24 hour crisis support:
Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention
Association canadienne pour la prévention du suicide
Czech Republic
Emergency services: 155
24 hour crisis support:
Modra Linka, 549 241 010
Denmark
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Livslinien, 70201201
Finland
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Mieli, 010 195 202, 010 195 202
Emergency services: 000
24 hour crisis support:
Lifeline, 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service, 1300 659 467
Austria
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Telefon Seelsorge, 142
Belgium
Emergency services: 100
24 hour crisis support:
Tele-Accueil, 107
Canada
Emergency services: 911
24 hour crisis support:
Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention
Association canadienne pour la prévention du suicide
Czech Republic
Emergency services: 155
24 hour crisis support:
Modra Linka, 549 241 010
Denmark
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Livslinien, 70201201
Finland
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Mieli, 010 195 202, 010 195 202
France
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Suicide Ecoute, 0145 3940 00
Germany
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
TelefonSeelsorge, 0800/1110111
Hong Kong
Emergency services: 999
24 hour crisis support:
Samaritans, 2896 0000
Ireland
Emergency services: 112 or 999
24 hour crisis support:
Pieta House, 1800 247 247
Samaritans, 116 123
Netherlands
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Sensoor, 0900 0767
New Zealand
Emergency services: 111
24 hour crisis support:
Lifeline, 0800 543 354
Suicide Crisis Helpline, 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Norway
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Kirkens SOS, 22 40 00 40
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Suicide Ecoute, 0145 3940 00
Germany
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
TelefonSeelsorge, 0800/1110111
Hong Kong
Emergency services: 999
24 hour crisis support:
Samaritans, 2896 0000
Ireland
Emergency services: 112 or 999
24 hour crisis support:
Pieta House, 1800 247 247
Samaritans, 116 123
Netherlands
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Sensoor, 0900 0767
New Zealand
Emergency services: 111
24 hour crisis support:
Lifeline, 0800 543 354
Suicide Crisis Helpline, 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Norway
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Kirkens SOS, 22 40 00 40
Singapore
Emergency services: 995
24 hour crisis support:
Samaritans, 1800-221 4444
South Africa
Emergency services: 10177
24 hour crisis support:
Lifeline, 0861 322 322
Spain
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Telefono de la Esperanza, 902 500 002
Sweden
Emergency services: 112
Kyrkans Jourtjänst, 031-800 650
Switzerland
Emergency services: 144
24 hour crisis support:
Pars Pas, 027 321 21 21
UK
Emergency services: 999
24 hour crisis support:
Samaritans, 116 123
USA
Emergency services: 911
24 hour crisis support:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK)
Lifeline Crisis Chat
Emergency services: 995
24 hour crisis support:
Samaritans, 1800-221 4444
South Africa
Emergency services: 10177
24 hour crisis support:
Lifeline, 0861 322 322
Spain
Emergency services: 112
24 hour crisis support:
Telefono de la Esperanza, 902 500 002
Sweden
Emergency services: 112
Kyrkans Jourtjänst, 031-800 650
Switzerland
Emergency services: 144
24 hour crisis support:
Pars Pas, 027 321 21 21
UK
Emergency services: 999
24 hour crisis support:
Samaritans, 116 123
USA
Emergency services: 911
24 hour crisis support:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK)
Lifeline Crisis Chat