Almost 2 years ago now, my son Harry committed suicide. He was 25 years old, and a young NSW Police Officer. Harry was vibrant and engaging, leaving impressions with those he met. He also wanted to help his community and correct the injustices of our world.
Harry’s death has impacted all those he left behind whom he knew and loved. Each of us shared his joy and he is missed in a myriad of ways.
As Harrys Dad and best mate his suicide was shocking and unleashed a tidal wave of emotion for which I could never prepare for. I cannot describe the deep painful feelings I experienced since learning my son had ended his life. The passing of time has eased the intensity of the pain, however the aching sadness remains. I’ve asked lots of questions since Harry’s death. Trying to search for answers, uncover some details that may help explain ‘why’? I’ve turned myself inside out in search of why Harry suicided. The sad truth is there are no answers. I thought I knew Harry better than most. We shared it all, I thought. We laughed, argued, and cried together, sorting out life’s problems as they presented. I wanted Harry to know I had his back, whatever life threw his way. I had no idea that Harry was mentally unwell, nor did he show any signs or behaviour to raise concerns that he was at risk of suicide.
What scares me is that despite all the positives in Harry’s life, he experienced the ‘perfect storm’ of negative feelings and emotions culminating in a tragic and irreversible mistake that impacted everyone in Harry’s life forever.
My hope is that we can stop suicide and improve the mental health of men suffering a mental health issue or condition. Let’s try and prevent suicide, so that no more young men like Harry die without the opportunity of experiencing all life has to offer.
Harry is my ‘why’. He is my motivation and the reason that I’ll be Moving forward, running preferably, clocking up the K’s on roads, trails, races and events in honour of Harry’s memory.
So, I'm raising funds and awareness for all the dads, brothers, sons and mates in our lives. I need your help to stop men dying too young.